My life is a little up in the air right now. I have heard, well, more than rumor but not enough to know for certain, that my company will be relieving itself of many of its employees in the next 6 months or so. It could be sooner, it could be later. We don’t know of course. Naturally this has caused an explosion of speculation among my fellow employees, and right there inside my head as well.
Now, although for the moment things are stable, the thought that in a year my life might be pretty different keeps pricking at the inside of my head at least 5 times a day. It’s not devastating news to be sure. I haven’t been at the company for half a lifetime or anything. In fact, it kind of feels like the kick in the pants that I need to get going. I never planned for a majority of the day to be closeted in a cubby staring at a computer screen. I am willing to bet a good percent of office workers say the same.
This is a real opportunity to change directions. Completely. I wasn’t meant to work in accounting, or business or marketing. One of my coworkers even told me that my job and I are polar opposites. (He is so right) However, changing careers means money. So…that means a job is a necessity, unless I win the lottery which I have never played. However if I take a job just to pay the bills and keep my two redheaded appendages in the manner in which they require, maybe I won’t have the time for writing … or school. That brings me to what, even if I had no money concerns, I would want to do. Well, writing is at the top of my list. It’s a must. I would love to have large amounts of time to write, trailing around in my pajama pants, sitting on my glider and immersing myself in the little fictional worlds I love to create. Or maybe going back to school to find something that actually pleases me and also makes money is the way to go. (Because having a degree in Medieval studies is not the way to go, neither is having a minor in classics.)
I do wish I had listened to my mother a little more now, and had actually done something more useful than fun in college, but since I am just now becoming a mature adult at 37, maybe this is the time to decide what I want to be when I grow up. There are so many options that my head whirls at the possibilities. The boulder that continually hangs over my head is the fact that no one will say when this part of my life is going to end so I can’t very well even start to do more than speculate on the next stage of life. Whatever happens, I have complete confidence that I will be just where I am supposed to be.