This morning as I peeled myself out of bed and jumped into the shower, I did the usual. I tried to figure out what I could wear to work. This part of the morning is one that I dislike. Actually there are many parts of the morning that I dislike, but that’s for another post. The reason that I absolutely detest this daily slog through my horribly crowded and messy closet is because I love clothes. I know, that doesn’t make sense. It would make less sense if you saw me. My favorite outfit is jeans and a tee-shirt. Nice jeans. The problem is actually two-fold. First, my budget, like many of ours, doesn’t let me buy all the clothes I want. The second part is that my closet, being tiny and crammed, doesn’t let me see what I have. I seem to have a lot of clothes that I don’t wear because they are too old, but if I get rid of them would have nothing to wear. Having to literally lean sideways into the doorway balancing on my toes to grab at a shirt just doesn’t cut it. I long to look like some of the people I work with who are always so stylish and fresh looking. I even have some clothes that are like that, and own an iron. I walk into clothing stores and want to buy almost half of the store. If only it fit me. Not being blessed with height above 5 foot, its hard to find a lot of nice clothes without having to shorten them, which I don’t. Hence I shop in the girls department, but that can create difficulties when trying to look professional (as if anyone can see me in my tiny cubbyhole at work). Also when I do go to the clothing store I end up blowing my budget on clothes for my daughters. One day though I vow to redo my closet so that I can experience the dream of opening my closet doors and seeing rows of lovely clothes hanging with quiet grace, unwrinkled. The I will be able to arrive to work in an enviously stylish yet comfortable outfit, with new shoes as well. I also long to find a really great fitting pair of jeans. That doesn’t seem to exist in our universe however so I will continue to wander aimlessly around the stores wanting clothes that won’t fit into my teeny closet. Which, I am ashamed to say, sometimes I just chuck my clothes into. Any of you guru’s of organization and fashion who are reading this, please unburden yourself with your secrets…I am all ears (or eyes rather.)
The other day I was looking for some information to complete my taxes. I have an old two door-metal filing cabinet which is older than me but has been the receptacle for all of my important papers for my entire adult life. Naturally I didn’t find what I was looking for, but I did find the warranty on the water conditioner in my first house from ten years ago and also the manufacturer’s information on my daughter’s baby monitor. She is now nine. It occurred to me that maybe I wasn’t the most organized person. I know that compared to many, I am pretty neat, and tend to be an anti hoarder. This is all on the surface however. My closets get cleaned sporadically, yet after a few weeks generally become a mass of boots, papers, and discarded toys. I watch the commercials for closet organizer kits with longing and wish I could have a closet with shining rows of shelving and neatly folded clothes. I really don’t think that will ever happen. In my experience, people are divided into groups depending on their organizational habits. There are those who organize their lives so much that they have to organize everyone elses for them. Those are the people who go on to have their own show on HGTV. Annoyingly perky people with ironed clothes and perfect hair. There are those people who just can’t organize a thing and usually end up very happily living in chaotic houses with an overabundance of socks because they can never find the mate. Then there are those of us who would love to be organized, and can rise to the occasion when necessity calls, like work. We are probably the most unhappy group because we are not satisfied with out own disorganization. After years of trying, I have just not become that annoyingly perky person who has organized their house to the max. My clothes get ironed for the most part though. So, I have decided, though it is months from the traditional New Years season, to make a resolution. I resolve to be more satisfied with my clutter, and accept that as a form of organization. Until the next time that I watch five hours of HGTV, that is.